


Of Pansies and Persistence

by yuuunime



Category: One Piece
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Minor Angst, Zoro is an idiot, canonverse, so is sanji
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26245885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuuunime/pseuds/yuuunime
Summary: What happens when the cook has finally had enough of Zoro's shenanigans?
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy some Zosan <333 Will be around three chapters :D

* * *

It was early, just past ten in the morning, and already the sun was beating down like fucking Hell itself over the deck.

Yes, it was a fine day.

Yes, it was cloud-free and pleasant, but for Zoro, who was situated on the upper deck with a pair of five thousand pound weights, trying to complete his monstrous set of bicep curls without breaking a sweat, the scorching sun was proving to be an annoyance.

Thus, those weights had met the floor with two loud thuds that sent the entire ship dipping a bit under the weight, and he’d sauntered off towards the galley, slipping arms from the sleeves of his robe where they now hung around his waist. The stupid cook had a clothes requirement in the kitchen, but Zoro didn’t care. Breakfast was finished, and there was no reason for him to complain.

The marimo poked his head in the door, noted, with some degree of silent relief, that there was no curly cook in sight, and moved to the fridge.

It only took a few tries for him to crack the new password Sanji had set. He’d watched him do it, after all, one day when the blond hadn’t been paying attention. Sanji always underestimated how much Zoro noticed.

And then it opened to the array of alcohol waiting for him in the door shelves, the beer bottles frosted with cool condensation, ready for his eager hand---which gladly snatched up three at once.

Nevermind if he knew the cook was planning on making beer-battered cod later that night. Zoro was damn thirsty, and that priority should have come first.

* * *

Placing his right palm onto his stomach, Sanji bent at the waist in a bow as he gracefully extended his left arm to place the waiting tray with a strawberry smoothie before his beloved mellorine.

“Here you are Nami-swan,” He sang happily, as he watched her receive his well prepared drink.

Taking the cool glass into her hands, she sips through the yellow bendy straw, and sends Sanji a bright and grateful smile. “Thank you, Sanji-kun.”

Sanji’s heartbeat instantly sped up, her words causing shockwaves to course throughout his entire body. His eyes lit up furiously, forming into the shape of large pink hearts, while the widest grin set on his face, beyond thrilled she enjoyed his beverage.

“Anything for you, Nami-swan! I shall bring you a lovely dessert, my princess! ” He gleefully shouts, already twirling towards the kitchen, the tray in his hand flailing about.

It was indeed a bit hot out, but Sanji paid no mind to the heat, extremely grateful he was able to see the beautiful Nami sunbathing on a lounge chair and satisfy her with a drink made by his own hands.

Of course he could not forget about his dear Robin-chwan either, who was working hard on gardening on the upper deck. He made a mental note to serve her her favorite sandwiches along with some fresh lemonade.

Midst spin, he stopped, noticing something out of place. The laughter and shouts of Luffy, Chopper and Usopp and the melodic sound of Brook’s violin were distantly muffled in his ears as his eyes sharpened and narrowed on the slightly open kitchen door that he knew, wasn’t before.

* * *

Zoro sensed rather than heard the prancing footsteps approaching the galley door, his right eyebrow twitching as he glanced over his shoulder towards the door.

Fuck. That was the cook, about to burst in surrounded by his usual haze of love, no doubt.

Quickly, Zoro stuffed all three sake bottles in his haramaki and elbowed shut the fridge.

Then he darted out from behind the counter, trying to beat those stupid footsteps until he heard them stop, could practically feel the energy change.

The cook knew, didn’t he. He knew something was amiss, and Zoro also knew he wasn’t going to escape the kitchen in time.

So he did the only logical thing he could think of in that situation.

He dove beneath the table, hoping to fuck the cook would choose that day to ignore his annoyingly good perceptive skills.

* * *

Jamming his heel into the center of the door, it flew roughly and hit the wall it was latched onto with a loud slam, the creaking of its hinges echoing in the suspiciously silent room.

Eyes still narrowed, not completely satisfied that everything was how he had left it, Sanji slowly walked through his kitchen, looking for anything slightly changed or misplaced. Lights still on, kettle still on the stove, … everything seemed to perfectly intact. Maybe he was in fact wrong.

Sanji walked towards the counter, placing the tray on top of it, well set on getting his Nami-swan her dessert. He typed in his secret password and opened the fridge, the cheesecake he prepared earlier being the first thing he sees and swiftly grabbing it, only to realize something was off.

The sake bottles he distinctly remembered putting next to the cake were nowhere to be seen. Eyebrow twitching in pure agitation, he closes his eyes and gently shuts the fridge then turns towards the counter once more to place the cake on the tray.

Opening his eyes he looks straight ahead and then he sees it. Turning his head to the left he observes, between two chairs of the dining table, the tip of a black boot.

* * *

Sure enough, what Zoro saw when that door opened were a pair of prissy designer shoes striding across the floorboards to the kitchen, disappearing behind the counter.

The sound of rummaging about, the beeps of the number pad on the fridge lock.

Zoro smirked to himself smugly, especially when he heard all activity cease for a long moment. He could practically feel the cook’s realization from where he’d curled himself under the table.

Oddly, however, following that pause, the noises started up again, and when he risked a peek, he saw hands placing a large cake onto the counter.

Quickly, he ducked back under, resisting the urge to huff a breath of irritation when it looked like Sanji was setting up shop for some food preparation.

Like hell he was sitting here all damn day. Fuck that.

* * *

A smirk decorated Sanji’s face, an idea popping into his mind. He swiftly retrieved all he needed, cherries, frosting, icing…

He set it all next to the cake and got to work.

Grabbing the batter tip, he squeezed, icing smoothly flowing out and thus he began decorating around the cake, nice and slowly, making sure to take his sweetest time.

An estimated five minutes later, he grabbed the other batter tip, this one being filled with frosting, to spell out his dear mellorine’s name. _N...A…...M………….I._

He spared a glance to his left once again when a heard an almost silent curse, his smirk growing wider by the second.

* * *

Zoro nearly banged his head on the underside of the table when he threw it back to roll his eyes.

What the hell was he doing up there? Breakfast was long finished. It wasn’t time for lunch yet. Why was the cook constantly messing around in the damn kitchen? Couldn’t he learn how to take a damn break?

Of course, Zoro was almost constantly training, but that was different, dammit, because it was all to get stronger. Decorating a damn cheesecake for the girls was not going to help Luffy become the Pirate King.

So there Zoro sat, with the sake bottles growing ever warmer against his stomach and his desire to pop one open growing ever more powerful.

Finally, he couldn’t take it. He slipped one from his haramaki and brought the cork to his teeth, clamping down and ever so quietly wiggling it from the bottleneck.

The discarded cork he flicked across the floor, where it bounced silently and rolled to a stop against the counter, and then he was chugging away. Because if he was destined to be stuck here all day thanks to the damn cook, then he’d damn well enjoy what he came here for.

* * *

Just placing the second cherry onto the cake, Sanji stilled as the rolling of an object echoed almost maddeningly loud through the kitchen, his anger flaring as he watched the cork roll from under the table.

His smirk morphed into a scowl, his eyebrow twitching, fists clenching. The nerve of this damn marimo. Still, Sanji continued, resuming his placing of the cherries, despite wanting nothing more than to bash the marimo’s stupid face in.

Fine. He’d let him drink that one bottle. That one.

Grabbing the cake carefully, he turned and placed it as far away from the dining table as possible, all with a strained smile.

Fishing his cigarettes and lighter from his pants pocket, he tapped one out onto his palm and lit it up, immediately taking a well deserved drag. He placed the cigarette back between his teeth and bit the end of it harshly, already prepared for what he was about to do, fuck the scolding he was sure to get later from Franky.

Sanji slipped his hands into his pockets and walked calmly toward the table.

Lifting a leg, he brutally brought it back down, right onto the spot he knew a certain idiot was lying under.

* * *

Good shit, that sake. Even better to be drinking it when he wasn’t supposed to.

Loud gulps drowned out the sound of calm footsteps approaching, the taste of the strong alcohol even distracting him from the smell of cigarette smoke that floated ever closer.

But then, a deafening crack directly above his head, and he just had time to draw Wado and clash the flat of his blade with a certain rock hard calf smashing through the tabletop above him.

He managed to keep ahold of his booze, crouched there amidst the ruins of the table, and a scowl quickly overcame his features.

“The hell are you doing, cook?” he grumbled, as if he wasn’t the strange one to be hiding under tables cuddling sake bottles protectively to his chest. “Franky’s gonna kill you, y’know.”

* * *

“I don’t give a damn about that right now. All I care about is making sure you don’t live to see another day.” 

And it started, the clashing of metal, the rush of kicks. Sanji made sure to keep the fighting at a distance where it wasn’t near the kitchen, hardly possible with the dining area attached to the kitchen, but damn it all.

This bastard pissed him off so much, he was going to stop at nothing to end him.

* * *

It ended with scattered wood, sliced chairs, and Zoro near the door to the deck, ready to escape with his booze, but not until he was sure he had the blond bastard beat.

Sword outstretched and sake clutched against his chest, he narrowed eyes as much as he physically could without closing them, just to show the blond how pissed he was.

Still, he had shit to do, so he reluctantly removed the two bottles still in his haramaki and held them out, almost in a peace offering.

“Here, dammit. If you want ‘em so damn bad. I didn’t even take from your nice stash though,” he sulked, because he did notice which was which, thank you very much.

* * *

Sanji lowered himself from his _Party Table Kick Course_ stance and stood upright, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. The mosshead has never given up before, so this was new. He stared at the bottle being held out to him with hesitation. Was this a trick? 

It sure as hell had to be.

He approached Zoro warily and retrieved the bottle quickly and set it down on the floor next to him.

“I don’t care what type of sake you stole.”

One hand on the deck.

“The point is.”

The other.

“Don’t fucking steal from me you damn bastard!”

And with a powerful kick, Sanji struck him right on his side, sending Zoro flying through the door, into the railing of the ship and finally down into the ocean.

* * *

Oh, that was it. That was fucking it.

Sanji could knock him into the sea. Sanji could force him to swim madly after the ship which continued sailing without him. Sanji could force him to swim for fucking twenty minutes just trying to _find_ the ship again.

Whatever. That wasn’t the worst part.

The worst part was the feeling of that precious sake bottle slipping from his grasp, sinking into the depths below as he desperately tried to keep ahold of both it and Wado.

The worst part was the feeling of vengeance that propelled him forward, drove him to _finally_ kick in the door to the galley when he managed to crawl back onboard, a wet, sopping mess.

He marched right into that damn kitchen, dripping and squelching all over, with the intent of ruining that damn stupid cheesecake he’d worked so fucking hard on.


	2. Chapter 2

He was fucking gleeful. The worthless swordsman was finally gone and hopefully drowned and sunk towards the bottom of the ocean.

Imagining him losing his last breath brings a smirk on to Sanji’s face. No idiot around to drink all his good sake, to take annoying naps and be in his damn way or to disrespect his lovely ladies. Sanji was living. Sure, Luffy was upset his first crew mate was gone, but he’d get over it… right?

He got an earful from Franky, but he wasn’t fazed. He didn’t care. It was worth it.

Leaning on the broken railing where the marimo had broken through, he let out a content puff of smoke, his eyes focusing on Nami, as she once again sat in the lounge chair, map in hand and comfortable smile on her face.

His gaze then drifted towards his gorgeous Robin. She sat beside the red-haired woman, also in a lounge chair, her features peaceful as she flipped page after page on her novel, all while eating a non-crusted sandwich.

Not a care in the world.

* * *

Good. Let him enjoy his peace while he could because meanwhile, Zoro had snuck back into that kitchen, pulled that cake right out, slammed a finger to it and smeared Nami’s name right out into a crude rendering of his own.

He wasn’t going to eat the thing. It was far too sweet for his tastes, but he was sure as hell going to stake his claim.

Proudly, he shoved the ruined cake back to its place on the counter and strutted out of the kitchen with a damn smug look.

He noticed the blond enjoying a cigarette close to where he’d fallen overboard, but he decided not to bother him.

Instead, the swordsman began his ascent to the crow’s nest for some peace of his own.

He’d wait for the inevitable screech.

* * *

Watching his two lovely mellorines was truly a sight to behold. It was then that Sanji suddenly remembered the cheesecake he had worked so hard on for Nami and his aura lit up even more than it already was, but just a split second later his body slumped. He had only wrote Nami’s name on the cake and completely forgot about his Robin-chwan.

Messing with the bastard had distracted him.

No harm done, however. He’d simply fix it. And so, he made his way to the kitchen, happy as can be, his happiness sparking at the thought of getting the chance to talk and serve his two female crewmates.

The dining/kitchen area currently contained no table as Franky was already cooped up in his shop, building an even super table.

Practically skipping through the kitchen doorway, what with it having no door, he spotted the cake perfectly on the counter where he remembered leaving it. It hasn’t been too long out of the fridge, so he knew it was still alright.

Sanji grabbed the cake and was in motion to get a batter tip when he froze and stared down at what was once his masterpiece.

There, in a crude attempt at decorating, was the messy splatter of the moss head’s name instead of Nami’s which had been written in cursive.

The idiot wasn’t dead like he had hoped.

“You fucking jackass! I’m going to find you and _murder you!”_

* * *

All the way up in the crow’s nest, Zoro heard, _finally_ , after far too many minutes of eager anticipation, that ear-splitting cry from the kitchen.

His handiwork had been discovered, and it was more satisfying than he’d hoped.

Casually, he pushed his heaviest weight over the hatch, just in case Sanji decided to come hunt him down. It wouldn’t hold him off forever, but it sure would be funny to see his attempts to get past it.

He stripped off his robe completely and drew Wado for a round of katas.

Best to be ready for a fight at a moment’s notice.

* * *

Faintly, Sanji could see the moss head through the crows nest small windows, training. He chomped hard on the end of his cigarette, enough so that the long part of the cigarette fell to the ground, losing its flame.

No, he wouldn’t strike now. Not yet.

Grunting, he went back into his kitchen and started preparing a new cake for his ladies. Of course the ruined one wouldn’t go to waste. Oh hell no.

* * *

It wasn’t until after dinner that Zoro finally grew tired of waiting for a reaction. All through the meal he’d watched the cook, rather disappointed in the lack of response he’d gotten over his dumb little trick.

He’d fucking waited for him up in the crow’s nest, secretly _hoping_ he’d come up to try and kick his ass. It would have been fun to knock him right back down to the deck.

But Sanji hadn’t come, and that was almost more annoying than any stupid fight they could have gotten into.

So he’d glared at the cook the whole damn time, ate his meal with growing anticipation for dessert, perhaps the perfect time to bring up the mishaps of earlier.

* * *

He’d noticed. That Zoro would steal glances at him all throughout dinner, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to react until it was time for dessert, but not with fighting.

Opening the fridge, he grabbed the ruined cake and walked towards the new table, where everyone was still sitting, messing around amongst themselves. He made his way towards Zoro, and set the cake right out in front of him, drawing the attention from the rest of his crewmates. Good.

“This bastard right here ruined one of my perfect dishes, which I will not forgive. Unless, he can eat this whole cake on his own, and I don’t give a flying fuck that he doesn’t like sweets.”

* * *

Well, he’d gotten the reaction he wanted, but it sure as hell wasn’t the one he’d expected.

Thus, a loud screech of, _“What?!”_ erupted from his mouth when he found the gross cake situated in front of him.

“Oi, like I even care if you forgive me! S’just a dumb cake!”

A useless thing to argue really, with Sanji in particular, but if the cook wanted the thing gone so much, he could just eat it himself.

Of course, this was the other crew members’ cue, led by an amused Robin, to start standing and filing out of the kitchen for a convenient escape, though that didn’t stop Luffy from eyeing the cake with whines of envy.

* * *

“Don’t look at me like that marimo, s’your fault for ruining Nami-swans and Robin-chwans cake, you could’ve avoided this whole thing.”

Sanji glared at him, and unlike the others, he was staying put until Zoro eats the whole damn thing. “I’m not letting food go to waste, and since your name is on it, I think you should have the honor of eating it.”

He really could’ve just served the cake to the rest of the crew, and later simply gone and suffocate Zoro in his sleep, but he truly believes that forcing him to eat something with lots of sugar would be a lot more entertaining.

* * *

“Look at you like what?!” Zoro growled, automatically whipping his head to glare at his retreating crewmates. “Oi! Where the hell is everyone---grrr---”

Too late. He and Sanji were alone, and frankly, Zoro didn’t know what to do because the dumb cook wasn’t picking a fight like he usually did. Instead he was calmly insisting on something, and the swordsman was at quite a loss.

“I didn’t _ruin_ it, Curly,” he grumbled, stalling. “You can still serve it to people if you cut it up…”

Come to think of it, he’d be tempted to slice the stupid thing in two before long.

* * *

He wasn’t going to eat it, he knew. This was stupid, the whole thing.

“Fine then.” And with that, Sanji took the cake and placed it once again in the fridge.

Perhaps he will give it to his crewmates tomorrow. He was sure he could count on at least Luffy to eat it, who’d most likely devour it in one sitting.

Sanji closed the fridge door and just like the crew had, not even sparing a glance at Zoro, he walked out without another word.

* * *

And just like that, it seemed the cook was giving up, and it was enough of a shock that the swordsman bolted up from his seat automatically and stalked after him.

“Oi, what the hell! There better not be a damn catch!” he screeched after Sanji.

If the cook decided to start giving him the silent treatment, he’d be pissed. So he was damn well going to make sure he didn’t.

By being as obnoxious as he possibly could until he got the reaction that satisfied him.

* * *

Sanji was angry, but he had had enough. He wasn’t gonna fight the Moss head anymore. What was the damn point. He fought him only a couple hours ago, sent him flying into the ocean even and that still wasn’t enough to get rid of him.

This was fucking it. He would pay no mind to the annoying shitty bastard and focus only on what mattered. Serving and protecting his mellorines.

He made his way into the men’s quarters and got ready for bed.

Sanji stared at the pillow on his bunker and contemplated his idea from earlier…

* * *

Well, Zoro was not going to let that happen, so he followed the cook all the way to the men’s quarters, pretended to rummage through his own shit until Sanji was situated.

Then he grabbed up his own pillow from his rarely-used bunk and smacked it across the back of the blond’s head.

“Quit ignoring me, dammit!” he squawked.

* * *

When the pillow hit his head, Sanji didn’t move or react. He simply moved his hands in front of him and away from Zoro’s line of view and clenched his fists, refraining himself from killing Zoro in cold blood.

“Fuck you.”

With that, he turned around to face his bed, pulled back the blankets and laid down, also avoiding the curious stares from the others.

* * *

Zoro had to resist the urge to tackle the idiot, instead letting out a cry of frustration.

Let the others watch. He was pissed and he didn’t care who knew it.

“What the hell’s your problem, cook?” he hissed. “All I did was mess with your dumb cake!” And steal his booze, but that was beside the point.

“Why are you bein’ so damn melodramatic?!”

* * *

Sanji squeezed his eyes shut before sitting up swiftly and glaring at Zoro who was a few bunkers away. His whole body was twitching in pure agitation, but he wasn’t going to give in.

“I just don’t want to fucking deal with your shit anymore! I don’t want to pick a fight with you so what!? Is that so bad!? Just leave me the hell alone!” Sanji shouts and throws the pillow back at him, not caring on his aim.

“You’re so damn immature!”

* * *

_“I’m_ immature?! You’re the one flippin’ out over a cake!”

He caught the pillow swiftly, and quickly whipped it right back at Sanji.

Since when did Sanji not want to pick a fight? Half of their fights started because he provoked them. Or so Zoro thought at least. It sure seemed that way when nearly everything the love-cook did pissed him off. 

* * *

“I’m not flipping out if you couldn’t tell!? I’m over it you stupid shit! I just want to go to bed if you could fucking let me! I don’t care anymore about the cake, Luffy can eat it for all I care!” He dodged the pillow and let it fall to the floor, Zoro can sleep without it.

Luffy let out a bubbly laugh of victory.

“From now on I’m staying out of your way and you damn well better stay out of mine.” 

* * *

“Oh, so now you’re too scared to fight me?” Zoro shot back.

What the fuck had happened to the cook who never backed down? He didn’t care about the cake now? After such a big fucking deal at dinner?

Maybe it was time for a different tactic.

“Fine, well, if you really don’t care, then m’gonna go take all the booze from the fridge,” he threatened. He’d be happy to, but it was mostly just a taunt at this point.

* * *

Sanji shot straight up.

“Don’t you _fucking_ dare,” He growled. Why was the moss head so persistent? Did he truly enjoy pissing off Sanji?

“That’s it. If you insist so much on fighting, then fine. Let’s go. Outside.”

His scowl turned into a cocky smirk. “It’s about time I kick your ass once and for all.”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will happen between these two? :0
> 
> Let me know what you think x Comments are appreciated <3 :)))


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